Tips For The Overwhelmed Mom

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Hi, I’m Taylor Brock and I’m a local mom of 4 boys, a dog, and a loving husband.  I love to teach and empower women to become better than themselves and reach their full potential!
It is amazing how overwhelmed a mom can become trying to raise kids, keep a clean home, and work in or outside the home!
I can empathize with most women because I have had a husband before who wouldn’t help around the house or with kids, and I now have one who goes above and beyond. I have worked several years working 10-5 everyday, being single, coming home, and going straight to work taking care of kids. I have also worked less hours, being married, and was able to pick up the kids from school, and I have also been a stay at home parent. Everyone’s situation is different and no matter what your situation, there are ways to lessen the stress!
First, make a list of what you would LIKE to accomplish in a day. My list includes things like….
Cook Dinner
Work Out
Play with Kids
Chores
Have Time to Myself
What things do you HAVE to do on a daily basis? Write it down.
I HAVE to take the kids to school at 7:15 every morning, and I have to pick them up at 2:30 every afternoon. Those things HAVE to happen so I always clear time out of my day to do those things. Out of the list, prioritize from most important to least important. I know that the things I listed above are things that should happen everyday, but what is most important to you?
Second, get an early head start. I wake up at 6:15 every morning. I am able to get so much more done when I wake up early. It is always better to wake up before your children. At 6:30, my husband and I wake up the boys to get them ready for school. They know to brush their teeth, get dressed, brush their hair and make their beds. Then we have breakfast together, and leave to go to school.
Let me tell you a secret…
Having their rooms cleaned, helps a lot with not being so overwhelmed. How do their rooms stay clean? There are no toys in their room! We never have to worry about picking up toys in their room because they have their own playroom and they know the rules. After you are done playing with a toy, put it back before getting another one. Secondly, they know if they don’t make their beds in the morning they get 100 points (watch the video on “Disciplining Children” below) to find out what I am talking about, and they don’t want that. Proper discipline, although it can be time consuming, helps so much by decreasing how overwhelmed and stressed you are.
Another trick to help ease the morning rush, is that we have a place where we store our shoes by the front door (not in a basket) but in a shoe shelf and we don’t allow shoes in the house. My previous home I didn’t care whether they wore shoes in the house or not, and nearly every morning the kids would have a hard time finding their shoes! The floors were also a lot dirtier. Now that we have a no shoe policy and we keep all the shoes by the front door, its easy to find their shoes and be out the door and they are always on time for school.
We also keep their backpacks lined up or hung up by the front door so we never have to search for their backpack.  By 7:15 the kids are being dropped off at school. Now this is where your schedule might differ from mine.
I work from 10-2 M-TH. I have to leave the house by 9:20 to get to work on time. So between 7:30-9:30 this is what I do…
My husband and I go straight to the gym. I hate working out but I made a commitment that between 7:30-8:30 we would work out. It also helps with energy and gets you started for the day. The other good thing about doing it in the morning, is that I can shower and get ready afterwards and be ready for the day, rather than doing it later on and being all sweaty later. You can work out from home and there are good apps and videos on how to exercise from home too. I never liked working out and it had actually been years since I had worked out when I started, but my age must be creeping up on me because I can no longer eat whatever I want, and not exercise and still be thin. Now I have to work hard for it.
After the gym, I shower, and get ready for work. If you don’t work outside the home, than your schedule may be more flexible.  Now, it is hard for both stay at home and working moms. Stay at home moms, it can be boring because you do the same thing everyday and you might feel like your whole life is based on cleaning up and taking care of your kids. The day can get boring quick. For working moms, you are making money, but are overwhelmed when you come home and now have to work harder to get your home and family in order. The grass is greener where you water it. I don’t think one is better than the other because I do both. I always thought that if I got a job, my life would be happier, and when I got a job, that if I didn’t have a job I wouldn’t be overwhelmed. But you have to make the most out of what you have been given.
There are some things that are temporary, a young child, attending college, being single, living in a small house, working until the day you don’t have to work anymore. Realize these things are temporary. They will put a glitch or give you more things to deal with, but realize it is temporary and make the most out of the situation you are given. It’s hard but it won’t last forever. Just do what you can with what you have. The thing I love about my job now is that I am home when the kids get out of school, I pick them up, help them with their homework, and I can raise and teach them the way I want them to be raised and know me as the mom that was there for them. When I was single, I didn’t have the choice of getting off work when they were out of school. I had to work twice as hard just to provide a home and food for them. If you have the option to stay home or work, realize your kids need you. I honestly think working at home is harder than working at a store, but it pays off in the end. Make what you are given enjoyable. Switch up your schedule. You do not have to clean and work all day, take care of the kids, and clean some more. Change it up. Follow the tips I am about to give you to make it easier on yourself, but also learn to let some things go. The house does not have to be perfect all the time. Take time for you, and schedule things within your week to make each day different.
I don’t use a timed schedule. Pick out the most important things and don’t schedule anything for those times. For instance, if you go to church on Sunday between such and such time, you never schedule anything else between those times and you never miss it. You wouldn’t schedule a doctor’s appointment or go to a party during church hours because you set those times aside. The same thing can be done for scripture study doing it the same time everyday, working out, and for me, once a week on Monday evening, we always have Family Home Evening and nothing disrupts those times. On friday night, we plan an evening together as a family to go do something fun, and on Saturday, my husband and I have date nights. There are certain things each week, that should never change.
Now it doesn’t matter what time of day the things I am about to list happen, but at some point it should happen.
I don’t overwhelm myself with a list of chores to do. I just choose 3 chores that need to be done. I don’t have to accomplish everything that day, but atleast I accomplished something. It also leaves more time to yourself, and not hate cleaning so much.
If you are only doing 3 chores a day, how is your house staying clean? We have rules in this house. Clothes always go to laundry basket if they are dirty. There are never clothes lying around. We eat ONLY in the kitchen, so dishes are not all over the house. After the kids eat, they know to put their dishes in the sink. My husband and I help each other do dishes. Kids play with toys, but pick up after themselves or toys get taken away or they get more points (watch video), and on Friday they get a $5 allowance if they help us during the week, put their own clothes away after we sort the pile, make their beds, go to school, and do their homework.
My husband and I keep up on the laundry. As soon as the basket is full, we do the laundry and sort it together when it is clean, put our own clothes away and the kids put their own clothes away.
Another thing that will help if you are overwhelmed with a messy house, is if you get rid of stuff. The less you have the less you have to put away. The less clothes you have, the less you have to put away. You don’t need all these “things” to make you happy. You will be happier with less. I have never cried or remembered anything I got rid of after it was gone. Might have been hard at first but once it was gone, I didn’t care about it anymore. It was so much better having a clean house than keeping that “thing” in the house.
Next tip, is that you say “just 10 things” or “just ten minutes” and you clean up for that amount of time or put that amount of things away and that is it. It helps get you started and if you didn’t want to keep going after that time, than atleast you accomplished something. Instead of being overwhelmed by how messy a room is, just say “ok i am only going to clean up for ____minutes. I am only going to pick up and put away ____items. Just try it. You’ll love it.
If you are a working mom, stick to quick and easy meals you can make when you get home or prep a meal the night before or crockpot meals. If you are a stay at home mom you can cook whatever you want.
I like to make a difference, so I post on my blog or I will serve someone in need. I will use my talents to improve someone else’s life. If you do the same, you will feel better about yourself because you are not concentrating on you anymore or your life. There is a reason, God asks us to serve. It is because it makes us happy. I don’t have time everyday to do everything, but I can schedule it sometime in my week to change up my schedule and give me something else to look forward to.
My last couple tips include, getting your kids to bed early. After dinner, around 6:30, the boys take turns taking showers and getting ready for bed. By 7:30 I can read them a story, say prayers, and say goodnight to each one and give them a kiss. Kids want to feel loved. Getting them to bed early will not only give you more time to yourself or to you and your spouse, but children behave better when they get more sleep and have a routine. I also recommend that you spend even 5 min a day REALLY playing with your kids. My parents never really played with me and I wish they did but now that I am a parent I don’t really know how to play with them and booked my day so much that I never spent much time just BEING with them, PAYING ATTENTION to every word they are saying and PLAYING with them. Practice Mindful Parenting. Be fully present with your child as often as you can. One day while I was driving on the highway by myself, I lost control of the car and flipped my car going 75 miles an hour. I should have died. But while the car was flipping, all I could think about was, “I wish I spent more time with my boys and told them I loved them more.” I hugged my boys tighter that night knowing I was given another day to enjoy them. I never really enjoyed them before and was just an overwhelmed parent. I hate that it took an accident for me to realize how fragile and special life is and my children. Each day just pretend that tomorrow is your last day, that you will have to say goodbye to your children tomorrow. How will you treat them differently today? What will you say to them? What did you teach them that you want them to know or remember the most since you won’t be there to teach it to them later on that will get them through life.
Read my blog on “How to be happy” and other life lessons I have posted to help you in different areas of your life. I hope this post helps you in your life and to realize that not everything needs to be perfect. Remember what is important and make time for the important things in life. That should come before anything else, and if everyone chips in around the house, you all can have more quality, happy time together.

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